The Other Side

I was cleaning out my external HDD transferring my collections of music, photos and inspiring stuff I had gathered in the past 6 years and I found my little book (or folder) of writings of the past. People say you have the most fun in your 20's but much of mine was spent being in a dark place with a lot of questions. It was a truly difficult period for me and my only solace was being in a place where I could just get it all out. 

My writings are very personal to me, and I hold them dearly to my heart. I've been told it's a tad bit depressing, but it was cathartic to write and strangely comforting to read it again. I hope someone out there will feel the same way too.

Enjoy :)

What are we after?

I find myself helpless in this sea of hope, and I’m desperately trying to reach out to you, to faith, to every thing we’ve built together. All our dreams, and our random thoughts on how our future would be and our love was more than enough for me.

I love you. I brought you to the one place that always made me happy when I was a child. The waves would wash over my fears and my unhappiness, and I wanted so desperately to share that with someone one day. As selfish as it may sound, I chose you out of everyone else. It was you that I felt was special enough.

That place means the world to me, and as I sat there with you listening to the winds of laughter, the tears flowed down my cheeks. You were there, with your radiant smiles and loving eyes. But was your heart there with you? Your mind seemed a million miles away from me. I wondered about you and me, while a wave of memories came flushing back - pain, redemption, lost, hope, anger, repentance, hurt, sorrow and happiness all at once.

I watched you crouch down to poke at the little crabs scrambling about, and I remembered how I used to crouch down to do the exact same thing. I sat there, watching you in a distance, smiling to myself. I never told you this but I was secretly happy that we shared the same quirks.

Your laughter rings in my ears over and over again, and my heart bleeds of happiness. You don’t understand. Your happiness means the world to me and to just see you smile like how you do each time I lay down next to you with my face tucked perfectly in your neck, is all I ask for everyday.

I love you. I brought you to the one place that always made me happy when I was a child remember? You promised we’d go back there one day. The waves will wash over our fears and our unhappiness, and we’ll stand there with our feet buried in the sand watching the sunset.

Just like the other day.

 
Remember?